Finding My Cultural Identity

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Malia Cazalot
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I grew up in a very culturally rich home. My mom is a Chinese and Puerto Rican immigrant from Jamaica, whilst my dad is a second generation French Italian. I feel extremely blessed being able to grow up surrounded by such rich culture, and good food (dim sum being my personal favorite, but I digress). However, it has also caused me to struggle with my own cultural identity.

‘What are you?’

By the time I was 12 I had moved five times, from Florida to Seattle to Texas back to Florida then finally Louisiana. Every time we moved somewhere new, I was asked “what are you?”, and as I delved into the explanation of what my parents were, I would watch as kids’ faces began to morph into a look of confusion. “Well, my mom was born in Jamaica, but I’m not Jamaican. I’m Chinese, Puerto Rican, Italian, and French. No, I don’t speak Spanish or Chinese or any other language except English actually...”. The more and more I struggled to explain it, the more I felt like a poser or a fraud.

Although my last name is French, and my family practices Chinese traditions like celebrating Lunar Year, and my mom often cooks traditional Italian and Puerto Rican meals, I felt like I couldn’t truly identify with any ethnicity. I didn’t speak any of the languages and I don’t look like any of the races.

Eager to belong

Coming to Louisiana was especially hard as it is a state so deeply rooted in culture and tradition, from Mardi Gras to Cajun food; where LSU football is considered religion and jazz music engulfs you on every street corner. I felt so out of place in my new home as I didn’t fit in, but also, I felt I had no real culture of my own to claim and identify.

Going off to college I was eager to find a place to belong, however, I soon encountered the same problems I had moving around in my childhood. I was excited to find more diversity in college, but I didn’t speak Spanish, I didn’t “look” Chinese, and I wasn’t necessarily “white” enough. I’d get teased for certain things I said or ate.

A combination of amazing cultures

For a long time, I struggled with my cultural identity and wished that I was just one thing instead of a little bit of four things. That way I could truly identify with one culture, and it would finally be enough. I now realize how lucky I was to grow up surrounded by four amazing cultures. Although I don’t speak any other language other than English, I was fortunate to have my grandfather sing to me in Italian before bed and hear my aunties arguing fervently in Chinese over nonsense.

I am blessed to be made up of so many things and that is what makes me unique. I don’t have to identify with just one specific culture, but can embrace everything that makes me who I am. Although I still struggle with my cultural identity, I am now proud of my family and what makes us, instead of being ashamed and wishing we were something different.

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About the author

Blog author Malia is standing with her arms crossed. She has dark shoulder length wavy hair and is wearing a black short sleeved shirt.

Malia Cazalot

Malia Cazalot is studying mass communication with a concentration in public relations at Louisiana State University. She hopes to one day work as a brand or marketing manager within a corporate setting. After graduating with her Bachelor of Arts degree, Malia plans to attend graduate school to receive her Master’s in Business Administration. In her free time Malia enjoys reading, photography, walking her dog, and volunteering with her church. She is an active member of PRSSA, Phi Sigma Theta, and NSLS. Malia is also the Pearson Campus Ambassador for LSU as well as the Co-director of Rep Relations.