What everyone is thinking on the first day back at school

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Parents: 7.45 a.m. So, the Age 5 trousers look a little short but the Age 6 trousers are dragging on the ground – which looks least stupid?

8.15 a.m. Before the summer I had 14 water bottles, now I only have 1… which kid do I like most?

8.30 a.m. Can’t believe we’re going to be late on the very first day. If I was a pair of black school shoes where would I have put myself for six weeks?

8.45 a.m. Can’t wait to see my mummy friends again… Ooh, and yes of course, hope you have a lovely first day back, darling!  


6.00 a.m. Yep, I’m awake. I think I’ll go and jump on mummy.

7.45 a.m. I want a chocolate biscuit for breakfast. No, not cereals. No, not toast. No, not even Pain au chocolat. I want a Wagonwheeeeeeeeellll!

8.30 a.m. Why is mummy in such a flap about this? I wish she’d stop asking where I put my shoes – that was like YEARS ago.

8.45 a.m. Yay! It’s like a giant reunion party.

9.30 a.m. I miss my old teacher

3.15 p.m. I LOVE my new teacher!  


8.30 a.m. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more

8.45 a.m. Are you going to be a problem, Mrs Parent?

8.50 a.m. Name labels. Need name labels!

10.00 a.m. Blur

11.00 a.m. Blur

12.00 p.m. Blur

1.00 p.m. Blur

2.00 p.m. Blur

3.15 p.m. Must match children to correct parent. Aaaarggh, escapee. Back ‘ere, Jones!

3.30 p.m. Only six more parents in the line to see me.

3.45 p.m. Shattered!

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