Growing up, I always thought that confidence and success were tied to how much you spoke. The louder, the better… or so I thought.

Leaning toward the quieter side, I was often met with comments like, “You don’t talk very much, huh?” Over time, those comments felt more like criticisms and less like simple observations.

This led me to believe that I needed to change something about myself to keep up. Nevertheless, somewhere along the way, I started to question that assumption.

A Professor's Simple Note

At the end of my first semester in college, I received a note from my World of Rhetoric professor that really hit home. It read: “Cameron, you are a person of few words, but when you do speak, you are extremely thoughtful and insightful. I appreciated your contributions to this class during the semester…”

It was such a simple note, but it hit differently. It wasn’t because someone was complimenting me, but because it confirmed something I had been slowly learning about myself. I was realizing that choosing your words carefully is not a sign of weakness, but its own kind of strength.

Lessons from Listening

That realization became even clearer during a two-week study abroad trip to Buenos Aires, Argentina. While many of my classmates jumped into conversations, I often found myself doing what I had always done best: observing.

I listened to the tour guides speak for hours about the history of Buenos Aires and watched the daily life of native Argentines during my trips to the cafes. I captured small cultural differences that might have gone unnoticed if I had been focused on being heard.

At first, I worried that I wasn’t participating enough or that the chaperones would think I was not enjoying the trip. It is common for society to equate participation with speaking. But as the trip continued, I realized that my most meaningful experiences came from listening.

Through conversations with local students at the National University of Tres de Febrero (UNTREF), classroom discussions with our traveling group, and all the fun excursions we participated in, I gained a deeper understanding of Argentine culture than I would have by worrying about what to say next.

Redefining Confidence

Being quiet did not prevent me from connecting with people. It helped me connect more intentionally by listening to multiple stories and perspectives.

When I did contribute to discussions, I found that my thoughts were often shaped by reflection and observation. I was not speaking less because I had nothing to say; rather, I spoke when I had something meaningful to add.

For a very long time, I viewed quietness as a barrier between me and success. Now, I understand that it is one of my strengths.

Being a listener has always helped me learn from others and build stronger relationships. Now, I know it as a skill to approach new experiences with curiosity, rather than with pressure to perform outside of my character.

The Strengths of Silence

In a world where the loudest voices are often celebrated, it is easy to assume that success is only for those people. But confidence does not look the same in everyone. For some, confidence means being the center of attention; other times, it is trusting that your voice has value even if you do not use it at every opportunity.

Being quiet does not mean that you have less to contribute. The people who say the least may be the ones who are paying attention the most.

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