I don’t know about you, but my first-year experience didn’t look like what orientation presented. Sure, I made a few friends here and there, but we never stuck together. And I get it; people say I ought to be more outgoing and reach out, but for me, nothing compared to the amalgamation of judgments I was convinced everyone held about me.

At the end of my first year, I was socially and academically burned out. I was yearning for a space to belong and a group of friends to just talk with. However, making that happen felt uncertain, risky, and scary.

But I knew I had to find this place for myself. To do so, I had to overcome one of my biggest fears: talking to people.

Knowing When to Reach Out

At first, I tried to reach out to classmates. However, the idea of doing so made me very nervous, and I would imagine our future interactions before the first one even happened. I became excessively nervous about my words and body language, which led to social isolation during my first year.

At this point, I realized my anxiety was largely affecting my social life, so I sought help at my university’s counseling center. Everyone’s reasons for pursuing counseling are different; in my case, they greatly influenced the way I made friends. I strongly wanted a place to belong on campus and was willing to go to counseling to do so.

Exploring My Counseling Center's Options

My counseling center at the University of Nevada, Reno, had two buildings: an annex and the main office. The annex offered quick drop-in sessions titled “Let’s Talk,” where a student could come in at any time to discuss anything they wished. This annex provided a safe listening space for students and helped me significantly with social distress on difficult days.

I also took advantage of the main office to treat my social anxiety. I actively participated in group therapy, including an interpersonal therapy group. These sessions helped me challenge the cognitive distortions I had related to social anxiety.

I was able not only to come out of it more socially confident but also to make more friends who experienced the same struggles as I did. Group therapy can foster a sense of community and belonging, helping students feel less isolated.

The Life-Changing Impact

My journey with my university’s counseling services was transformative. It provided a dedicated space to unpack common college struggles, which made me feel less alone. More importantly, I grew confident in my ability to reach out to people without my old habit of overthinking the outcome.

Beyond simply treating social anxiety, counseling taught me invaluable life lessons in self-compassion and communication. My college experience today looks nothing like that isolating first year. I learned that seeking help is not a weakness but a courageous first step toward building the life you want.

I will always be the number one advocate for taking advantage of campus counseling centers, especially if they are included in your tuition. If you feel like you're on the outside looking in, it might just be the key to finding the community you’ve been searching for.

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